Alive and working out but terrible at motivation

I don’t know what it is but while I’m working out and pushing myself pretty well I still feel just… bleh about so many other things. It’s something I’ve dealt with a long time in so many areas and sometimes it just feels so overwhelming. Combine that with willpower issues in diet, finance, etc and sometimes it feels like a miracle that I’ve done what I have! I think this needs to be my focus for this year, working on the non physical parts of me  so I can truly love myself and what I have accomplished. A friend said I was an inspiration but I needed to remember to inspire myself. I may question the first part they were definitely right about the second.

Wow it’s been far too long already!

Boy one problem I had with a website that I wrote on some with their version of a blog was not having time to keep it up to date and here I am with my own blog and already having that issue! Crazy days at work coupled with some ill timed back issues and here ya go. Unfortunately this week I only got two days of workouts in because my back decided to be a jerk…. AGAIN! Normally I’m pretty good dealing with my pain management but this week was rough.

In addition to the weight issues I was dealing with a lot of back pain over the years and I mostly just dealt with it. Once I lost 70+ pounds my back was getting worse not better so I finally broke down and went to some doctors to work on pain management. Long story short i have some lower back arthritis issues and some spinal stenosis issues on my left side. It’s mostly manageable although running seems to present it’s own issues from time to time.

This week was an exception as apparently swimming set it off and it was the worst it’s been in 5 or more years. I’m not really used to sharing lanes and when I did a turn I went the wrong way and went head first into the lane divider lol. Good news is that it didn’t hurt my head at all cause it’s just plastic but the bad news is for some reason it shot pain down my back. I felt fine the rest of the day but when I woke up Wednesday I could barely move and had muscle spams all over. As fate would have it I had an epidural planned already for Thursday for the Spinal Stenosis issues so I’m starting to feel better today at least.

Anyway enough with the pity party! I plan on getting back out there for a long hike Sunday at least and then back on track next week. Since running is still sort of on the back burner I’m using a nearby hiking trail in a nearby “mountain” to help prep for the Spartan Beast. I’m getting pretty antsy about this race at the end of October so I really have to stay focused getting ready for sure. By all accounts the Beasts are all about mountains so this should be good training. Otherwise I’m just trying to work on grip strength and pull-ups. If I can conquer these then I think I have a good chance of not dying at this race. If anyone is interested this is the one I’m lined up for, I’ve heard some feedback from other friends about some of the hills so it sounds…challenging.    Beast

Until Next Time.

Pics or it didn’t happen

Warning, scary fat guy photos! I have to admit the concept of posting these scares me but then again I figure almost nobody will see them so that helps. Since this blog is partially an accountability piece for me I think posting photos maybe once a month will be a good idea, what do you think?

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So that’s me not all that long ago, I honestly look at it now and can’t really understand why I let it get so far. I think in the 2 photos above I weighed between 350 and 360.

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These photos I’m in the 265 range or so and somewhat recent. Looking at the comparisons is pretty eye opening, sometimes  I don’t really see it so these photos help. I know I’ve lost a crap ton of weight but I still see a super fat guy in the mirror because I’m insecure like that. I’m pretty sure a lot of people feel that way and while I know it’s hard, DON’T! Take comparison photos, do measurements or whatever works for you but keep yourself going forward because in the end the gains (or losses I guess in this case) will be visible.

The title of the blog is formerly fat guy but I’m not quite formerly yet! Hopefully this blog (and any potential viewers) will help me get to my goal. Later in the week I’m going to try and post some sort of sample of my workouts, tracking them here will be useful to me and maybe someone else.

Until next time!

 

 

 

 

 

Getting my 20 seconds of courage

To borrow a phrase that one of my favorite websites (person and book) uses I summoned 20 seconds of courage to start this. I’m not a writer and the thought of writing somewhat regular posts terrifies me but since I doubt many will read them that makes it less scary I guess! Why do a blog now? Well I want to use this for accountability but also someone out there might find my story helpful and if one person does then it’s worth it to me.

My story probably mimics a lot of people, lost weight only to gain it back over and over again over the last decade but things got worse once I hit 35 or so when all of a sudden I gained another 30 pounds for no reason other than my metabolism. I pretty much ignored it for the next 3 years until I got the flu right after Christmas and weighed 376 pounds at the urgent care. It was at that point I looked inside myself and said why the hell are you doing this to yourself? I knew what I weighed before that but for some reason that day it finally hit me. Couple that with some of the stories I read about Stuart Scott and what he was doing workout wise the days he got chemo and I realized I had NO excuse for not doing something about this. Instead of coming home from work and playing video games I needed to be active.

Anyway I started out walking which led to 4 or 5 mile walks after a while which got boring so I started up C25K and eventually ran my first 5k which led to 10k and ocr racing. I also started swimming, spin class and a personal trainer so working out is a huge part of my life now which really helps me keep at it. I am still working on my diet but I’ve lost 120 pounds so far in 18 months and weigh 255 now which is my lowest in a long time. It’s pretty cool to put on clothes I haven’t been able to wear in 2 years or more!

More to come!